And the Randomness continues...

Have you ever had a dream you just couldn't get out of your head for weeks? I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that was so beautiful and inspiring to me that I'm going to risk looking odd to share parts of it.
It started with me waiting with a group of people standing around looking for the arrival of a man. I had been sent to this place by this man to help him get someone out. Everyone waiting knew he was the only person who could get them out, but I had experienced this first hand, and was anxious to be there, even if I had been asked to come. What I thought was odd was that when he arrived no one but me noticed. He called out loudly for everyone to meet him inside the building. He then looked to me and directly asked me to pick up a girl who was so wounded she was coming in and out of consciousness, and couldn't walk in by herself. The man walked ahead, going into the building and disappearing in the crowd. I picked up the girl and immediately had resistance from people around me saying "Don't bother with her, she can't even walk. He won't want her". I just ignored them and walked through the crowds into the building. Looking around all I saw were lines. I asked the people what they were waiting in line for; they all would say they were waiting for Him. Because of the urgent need of the girl I would walk to the front of the lines only to find that they were waiting in line for a movie, a concert, food, etc. I was getting worried because I was searching through several lines and they were all going nowhere, but they all claimed they were waiting to see Him. Finally I cried out desperately "Where are you?" and I could hear Him quietly calling back to me. I followed his voice to increasingly less crowded areas until I came to a room where a wide staircase went down into a large room with windows all around, floor to ceiling. He was standing in the center talking to several people at a time. I came up to Him with the girl in my arms and was so relived. He smiled and talked to me, it touched my heart with such great peace and love I thought I would explode. The girl stirred and he said some comforting words to her. She smiled and went into a restful sleep. All this time it seemed he was able to keep his conversations up with everyone, not revealing what he was saying to anyone else. He was available to everyone who came and there were no lines to see him. He directed me to where I had to go to leave with the girl who had given me permission to take her to where he was on the outside. He comfortingly told me he would follow soon, there were some more people he was waiting for. I became worried; I said they were all distracted and waiting in other lines. He only smiled and said that they would come.
Yes, I know this is weird, but oh well. I chose this picture because I took it for a photography class, and the theme was dreams.

Happy anniversary Mom and Dad!

My parents just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary. While compared to a lot of marriages in the United States just lasting 32 years is amazing. But the real feat is that not only have they committed themselves for so many years they are still very much in love. I remember being about 5 years old and Melanie coming up to me very upset saying "Mom and Dad love each other more than they love us". Looking back there was something very comforting in that fact that Melanie discovered that day. I always knew that my home was secure. I would have a mom and a dad who would always be there together, taking care of me. My parents later told me when I was a teen and laughingly recalled Melanie's story to them that one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is parents that love each other. Later as I became an adult and all my sisters and I were getting married I remember my mother telling me that to have a marriage be successful is hard work, but well worth it. My parents have inspired me to always work on myself and my marriage, and it has always been a blessing to see the fruit that God brings about because of it. So thank you Mom and Dad for being such a good example and a blessing to me, my sisters, and all your sons-in-law by having a marriage that so wonderfully reflects God's design.

Yeehaw!

Ever since I was a little girl I've loved horses. Now that I am an adult I have been able to take riding lessons and now I go out once a week with a friend to go horseback riding. What is funny about horses is that some are really nice when you are standing next to them on the ground, but as soon as you are on their back they are full of attitude. Some of them have poor "ground manners" but are great when you ride with them. I have yet to meet a horse that is well behaved all the time. But the odd thing is I still love to ride, despite the challenges and personalities I face. I know Melanie would disagree with me, but I think most little girls are fascinated by horses. There is something wild and beautiful about them, but still they allow themselves to be tamed. They kind of invite adventure and companionship. The horse in the picture is named Desiree, or Des. She's one of those who is nice on the ground. We have yet to decide if we can come to an agreement when we ride.

Isn't he great?

This is one of my favorite wedding pictures. It shows how sweet Joel is, and how happy he makes me. I think our photographer Sandra Wilder was so great (hey, if any of you out there are looking for a wedding photographer who is excellent and reasonably priced, look her up). My dad recently finished mine and Joel's wedding video and it was so great to see it. God really blessed us with such a great wedding. Joel and I cried almost the entire time for all the joy we just couldn't express any other way. I feel so blessed that God brought Joel and me together. Hey, since this is my blog I'm going to take the time to brag about my husband Joel. Even though we go through difficult times he continues to work so hard. He doesn't let difficulties create a distance between us. I love how he leads us in prayer when I tell him about something hard I faced that day, or how he encourages me to read the Bible when I feel discouraged. God gave me a partner who shares my sense of humor, who is strong, and so thoughtful. I am truly blessed!

Be careful what you wish for, you might get growing pains...

Have you ever asked God to give you more faith, or patience, or some other such noble trait then come to realize He's going to teach you the hard way. Now in reality the hard way is the only way. I don't know about you, but if God just took out the cosmic magic wand, waved it over my head and said "Now you will have more faith" it would save me a lot of hard work and pain. But you only learn by doing, and you only grow strong by exercising that which you want to grow stronger. So now I look back at the time right after Joel and I got married and we asked God to have us depend only on Him. Hmmm, if only we knew He would say yes. A lot changed quickly after that.

Joel and I were asked to pray about helping to start up a church called Ethnos and I remember thinking "no way, I like it where I am." I also secretly thought about how now I would have to meet all new people and actually have to help out to make sure the gatherings happened. Joel and I were convinced we weren't supposed to go, mostly because we didn't want to. But God kept bringing Ethnos up, and more and more we both felt that was where He wanted us. So during the time when Joel and I were still adjusting to married life we started going to and working with Ethnos.
Shortly after, Joel had to look for a new job because the company he was working for got bought out, and my work was moving to Oregon City. So we both were out of work for a time. Joel is now on his (I think) 4th job since we have been married and his work situation is now deteriorating. I'm on my second job and there is fighting between the owners, they have cut back my hours, and I may need to get a different job too. Sadly the job situations have never been our fault. Always circumstances beyond our control have made us move on as far as work is concerned. Every once in a while cash has become tight, but every time money comes from somewhere unexpected.
In May Joel was introduced to a rather rude piece of sidewalk when an unseen cable tripped up his bicycle and had him fall over his handle bars. Luckily Joel and I were riding our bikes with our neighbors, one of which is a nurse, so we were well taken care of. But we learned the lesson not to allow for half a month’s lapse between when one health insurance stops and the other begins, 'cause it might just be in that window of time that you need it. We were in the ER until 4 in the morning, and I'd rather not have that experience again. Joel broke his jaw, a tooth, and fractured his arm. We also learned that liquid diets are not satisfying as Joel went through several weeks with a wired shut jaw. He was glad when he didn't have to take the pain meds anymore so that he could drive himself to work instead of being chauffeured. Yes, he worked right after his accident. If it were me, I would have taken the time to rest, but Joel doesn't have a lazy bone in his body.

Not long after this Joel's family started having problems that are still ongoing. It's hard to know what to do in situations like that when if it was anyone other than family you would simply give up and not be their friend anymore. But since it is family, you have to try anyway. It's also difficult when you don't know all of the information because none of the "children" get to know.

We have also recently started helping an 18 year old friend of ours get out of a difficult situation. While she is staying at my parents house I drive her to her work, and Joel and I are learning what it is like to teach someone how to drive. Scary. I don't know how anyone does it. She's doing a good job, but it's still scary.
With all of these situations I have seen people act so selfishly and so cruelly. I've learned that "I'm an adult" means "I'm selfish, and I don't care if what I do hurts others or myself. I want to do what I want to do, and you can't stop me". But through it all I've learned so much. I don’t want people to think that I am complaining and that I think I deserve better or something when I talk about the stuff that's going on. I just want to share that though it has been really hard, and things have been so uncertain, God is so faithful. I spent much of my life before this collecting knowledge about God. Reading the Bible and reading so many theology books. But I wondered from time to time why I felt like I had not truly learned it because I wasn’t acting out what I "knew". I feel like God finally said "Now we are really going to learn". And as scary as that is, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He is teaching me to finally keep my eyes on Him when things are hard instead of getting swept away by hard circumstances. I used to just put up walls to keep the hurt out when hard times came, but along with keeping out the hurt I blocked out a lot of what I could learn too. I'm finally learning to give up my problems to God instead of clutching onto them, trying to fix them, and feeling like an utter failure when I can't do it on my own. I'm starting to learn to have joy no matter what is going on. I still have a long way to go, but I feel encouraged. I have found peace in a passage I read recently. In John chapter 16 Jesus is telling the disciples about what is to come and tells them that this world if full of trials, but to take heart "I have overcome the world"! My heart is encouraged that Jesus has overcome everything. Nothing is beyond Him. And He cares so much about us. So while Joel and I are experiencing growing pains I wouldn't trade it for the world. God has proven Himself more than faithful.