Be careful what you wish for, you might get growing pains...

Have you ever asked God to give you more faith, or patience, or some other such noble trait then come to realize He's going to teach you the hard way. Now in reality the hard way is the only way. I don't know about you, but if God just took out the cosmic magic wand, waved it over my head and said "Now you will have more faith" it would save me a lot of hard work and pain. But you only learn by doing, and you only grow strong by exercising that which you want to grow stronger. So now I look back at the time right after Joel and I got married and we asked God to have us depend only on Him. Hmmm, if only we knew He would say yes. A lot changed quickly after that.

Joel and I were asked to pray about helping to start up a church called Ethnos and I remember thinking "no way, I like it where I am." I also secretly thought about how now I would have to meet all new people and actually have to help out to make sure the gatherings happened. Joel and I were convinced we weren't supposed to go, mostly because we didn't want to. But God kept bringing Ethnos up, and more and more we both felt that was where He wanted us. So during the time when Joel and I were still adjusting to married life we started going to and working with Ethnos.
Shortly after, Joel had to look for a new job because the company he was working for got bought out, and my work was moving to Oregon City. So we both were out of work for a time. Joel is now on his (I think) 4th job since we have been married and his work situation is now deteriorating. I'm on my second job and there is fighting between the owners, they have cut back my hours, and I may need to get a different job too. Sadly the job situations have never been our fault. Always circumstances beyond our control have made us move on as far as work is concerned. Every once in a while cash has become tight, but every time money comes from somewhere unexpected.
In May Joel was introduced to a rather rude piece of sidewalk when an unseen cable tripped up his bicycle and had him fall over his handle bars. Luckily Joel and I were riding our bikes with our neighbors, one of which is a nurse, so we were well taken care of. But we learned the lesson not to allow for half a month’s lapse between when one health insurance stops and the other begins, 'cause it might just be in that window of time that you need it. We were in the ER until 4 in the morning, and I'd rather not have that experience again. Joel broke his jaw, a tooth, and fractured his arm. We also learned that liquid diets are not satisfying as Joel went through several weeks with a wired shut jaw. He was glad when he didn't have to take the pain meds anymore so that he could drive himself to work instead of being chauffeured. Yes, he worked right after his accident. If it were me, I would have taken the time to rest, but Joel doesn't have a lazy bone in his body.

Not long after this Joel's family started having problems that are still ongoing. It's hard to know what to do in situations like that when if it was anyone other than family you would simply give up and not be their friend anymore. But since it is family, you have to try anyway. It's also difficult when you don't know all of the information because none of the "children" get to know.

We have also recently started helping an 18 year old friend of ours get out of a difficult situation. While she is staying at my parents house I drive her to her work, and Joel and I are learning what it is like to teach someone how to drive. Scary. I don't know how anyone does it. She's doing a good job, but it's still scary.
With all of these situations I have seen people act so selfishly and so cruelly. I've learned that "I'm an adult" means "I'm selfish, and I don't care if what I do hurts others or myself. I want to do what I want to do, and you can't stop me". But through it all I've learned so much. I don’t want people to think that I am complaining and that I think I deserve better or something when I talk about the stuff that's going on. I just want to share that though it has been really hard, and things have been so uncertain, God is so faithful. I spent much of my life before this collecting knowledge about God. Reading the Bible and reading so many theology books. But I wondered from time to time why I felt like I had not truly learned it because I wasn’t acting out what I "knew". I feel like God finally said "Now we are really going to learn". And as scary as that is, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He is teaching me to finally keep my eyes on Him when things are hard instead of getting swept away by hard circumstances. I used to just put up walls to keep the hurt out when hard times came, but along with keeping out the hurt I blocked out a lot of what I could learn too. I'm finally learning to give up my problems to God instead of clutching onto them, trying to fix them, and feeling like an utter failure when I can't do it on my own. I'm starting to learn to have joy no matter what is going on. I still have a long way to go, but I feel encouraged. I have found peace in a passage I read recently. In John chapter 16 Jesus is telling the disciples about what is to come and tells them that this world if full of trials, but to take heart "I have overcome the world"! My heart is encouraged that Jesus has overcome everything. Nothing is beyond Him. And He cares so much about us. So while Joel and I are experiencing growing pains I wouldn't trade it for the world. God has proven Himself more than faithful.